4 Rules to Independence

Here is something I truly believe. We all have to find our way in the world, and denial of this fact will breed unhappiness. Independence is all we really have because people come and go, just as the scenery changes from city to city. Never lose your inner voice.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”
– Steve Jobs

Be aware at all times whose voice you are listening to, your voice or the voice of others echoing in your head. The voice of others may take form in your voice. Are your words, your thoughts, or your actions the result of other people’s negative influence? Are you clogged in the machine of groupthink?

Here are my rules to maintain independence:

Rule 1 – Process your thoughts independently of others.

This ties into rule 2, and cannot be done without rule 2. This is the purpose of meditation.

Rule 2 – Prioritize your alone time.

We are social creatures who pleasure being around people and fitting in. Don’t let this instinctual desire keep you from your alone time. If you are uncomfortable being with yourself, then you are in bad company. Learn to love yourself. This is done through being alone and facing yourself.

Rule 3 – Constantly nurture your base.

If you’re around people for too long, you will begin to subconsciously want to get away from them, but you may feel trapped with conflicting desires to stay and to leave. If you have these two desires simultaneously, then the desire to stay is a desire to hold on to a moment that is already fleeted. Let go. Don’t be afraid to leave if you want to leave; it’s how you take your power back. If you develop your base by prioritizing your alone time, you begin to enjoy being around people more.

Rule 4 – Reach out from a place of empathy.

This rule ties into rule 2 and 3. We enjoy the company of people more after being alone. When we are alone, we are more aquatinted with our own quirks and problems, which allows us to empathize other’s. The journey to understanding others is through understanding ourselves.