There are two extremes that people embody when it comes to the dimension of time…
First
First, they may choose to live in the past, to recapture moments and memories that provided them comfort such as that of their youth or when times were good and pleasurable. They may even embody a counter-intuitive approach of recreating past negative experiences unconsciously. They live in a loop, a cycle, such that it has stages of development before returning full circle to repeat. Patterns rule our life, and it’s our job to recognize those patterns, and whether they are good for us. If not, change course, just as a captain does on a ship when finding he is pointed in the wrong direction.
Those who only subscribe to the past may also be fearful of the future. They want to live in certainty and in comfort, and are repelled by the treacheries of reality. Perhaps they were hurt and are choosing to callus themselves from further pain, or perhaps they feel inept in handling what’s to come, haunted by a feeling of inferiority. They are uncertain about the future and that fears them, so they choose not to think about it and only live for the past.
Second
The second extreme is the person who only lives for the future. They deny who they were and are in order to become who they want to be. This sounds motivational, but on the contrary it can present problems in the future. We cannot drop who we are immediately on command and become someone new, even though some may outwardly appear to do so, or deny the course of events that led us to where we are and who we have become. If you do so, this past self that you denied will come back to haunt you, and reveal itself in self-destructive ways, ultimately leading to unhappiness for yourself and those around you.
The proper course of action is to integrate who we are with who we can be. Just as a ship can’t turn 180 degrees on a dime, we can’t instantly change who we are. We must learn to reflect on and accept the experiences that led us to who we are, and consciously choose to integrate better decisions to steer ourselves where we want to be. Don’t live in disillusionment; choose to accept who you are wholly, but always strive to be better.
Middle Ground
The person who we want to be is one who lives on the cusp of endings and beginnings, deaths and births, integrations and future projections. This is the nature of transitions. We are in an infinitely iterated game of transitions as every moment passes, every word you read, and breath you take. Change includes the death of old ways of thinking and acceptance of new ones, death of old cells and genesis of new, more vital ones. Death of an old way of thinking doesn’t mean denial of the fact that you ever thought that way, but rather it’s a seamless transition and acceptance, which is a form of integration.
Relationship with Past and Future
Live like a wave on the ocean, rolling with the water. Seamless transition. Integration of the past to build a better future. Acceptance of the past, enthusiasm for the future, and continual betterment.