Author: Jeffrey

What is the value of your time?

Will you sit with ideas in your head, or will you stand up to achieve them? Focus on one thing, and one thing only. Execute, then move on to the next thing. There is so much to do, but will you do them? You will if you focus on one thing. Prioritize your goals and set your life in motion. The sun is up, and your goals should be applied just as thoroughly as your sunscreen. Do not let the rays of life burn you, but rather make you glow tan. Hustle and ambition. Embody these traits. Are you waiting for permission?

Freedom

We have freedom. This summer, we are not told what to do, what to think about, or what to learn. All of us have freedom to venture through the depths of our curiosity. Look out the window; the wind is blowing, the sun is glowing, and the sky is showing. Nature does not halt its splendor, and neither should you. Express yourself, create yourself, educate yourself. We have a window of infinite opportunity right in front of our face. Be energized, be energy, be grateful.

Growth

We are always in constant perpetual growth. Death of the psyche and boredom are self-induced. As long as the clock is ticking, you are dying and growing. Have a sense of urgency. Your life is on the line with every decision you make, no matter how minuscule or grandeur. Do not neglect a second that goes by, and embrace your true nature of integrity. Have integrity and authenticity with yourself and others, and emit the happiness of feeling your life essence. We all have a great energy inside us that is waiting to be expressed. Do not put this energy in a bottle deep within, but pop the cork and let it flow.

What does Presence mean?

Presence is being in the here and now. When you are present, you are not afraid to occupy your own space. You feel your emotions as they come and go. These emotions may be unpleasant, but you choose to feel them anyway because you see the value in expressing them. When you are not present, your focus is from your head and to the clouds, outside of your body. When you are grounded and present, your focus is from your waist down. Your feet feel the ground as you walk, and your center of gravity is vertical from heel to head. Your senses are honed; you smell the air, feel the sun, and the clothes on your back. Presence is a primal state of being, which most people are seemingly disconnected from.

Benefits of being Present

1) Authenticity. People sense when you are occupying your own space. Heads will turn when you enter a room because of the energy that you emit. You lock people’s eyes when talking to them, and give them your undivided attention. Your attention is always on the here and now, with whatever you are occupied with. You are authentic and have no malevolent motives.

2) Charisma. The definition of charisma is presence. Attractiveness from charisma is centered on comfortability in one’s own skin. We allow those around us to be comfortable when we are comfortable. When we are not overthinking, we become grateful for the small things, and the energy from this gratitude is expressed in charisma and confidence.

3) Happiness. Gratitude equal happiness. Once we realize that we have everything we could possibly need to be happy, then we will radiate joy. Presence allows us to absorb our surroundings and take pleasure in them through gratitude. Feel the wind on your face, the muscles in your body, and the heart pounding in your chest to realize how lucky you are.

How to be Present

Presence is actually simple. The only difficult part is maintaining it, and not running from the emotions inside you. A practical exercise to be present is to slow our motions. When you are walking, cooking, and so on, do so very slowly. As you slow down your motions, you become extremely conscious of your body, and may even feel weird. When you feel weird, or when people start to take notice of you walking so slowly, then you know you are doing something right. Don’t run from the feeling, but embrace it. It is your true self.

Forward

As time moves forward, life moves forward. Look up, in front of you is forward. We are made to walk forward; made to see forward; made to think forward; we are forward creatures. Time decays and creates simultaneously, and each creation is stronger than its last.

Tremendous power is just on the other side of death; death physically and figuratively, of an idea, relationship, emotion, and so on. Muscles grow by first tearing. Once torn, they build bigger and stronger than before. The same process takes effect on our emotional endurance. The people who have experienced the most pain have the most to offer. These same people would have nothing to offer if they did not choose to move forward. The ability to move forward is innate in all of us, regardless of the external norms encouraging us to look backwards.

Backward

The only purpose in looking backwards is to build an understanding of how to move forward in the best way possible. We glance in our rear-view mirror to know when we can move forward into the next lane. If you try driving with your rear-view mirror, you would crash for one, and your future will look frightfully like your past.

Where focus goes, energy flows. If you focus on your past, you will repeat your past. We’ve all made terrible mistakes at some point in our lives, it is the only way we grow, but we will go through the pain repeatedly if we choose to make the same decisions. No decision will be exactly the same, but we can train ourselves to spot patterns of our past mistakes resurfacing. A smart thing to do would be to withdraw and understand what caused the undesirable outcome before pointing fingers. Move forward intelligently, and confident that not a single hint of your mistakes will ever find the light of day again.

 

 

How do the most influential people in the world have so much pure energy to do what they do? For any human being to do anything great, they must have the energy and incentive to act consistently. Low-achievers may suggest the incentives of the successful are corruption and greed, but this is mostly in defense of their own ego. If the successful people are corrupt, then we MUST be such great people, right? This is what low-achievers think subconsciously to defend their pride. The true answer is gratitude.

How is Gratitude So Powerful?

Humans were made to give. When we are contributing in some way, we become the most satisfied; it is in our evolutionary makeup. Every person has their own way of contributing and giving; what is yours? What times were you most happy? Dig deep. We are social creatures. The reason we thrive as human beings is because of our ability to connect and reciprocate. The law of reciprocation states that when one person gives to you, you feel a natural, instinctual inclination to give back. Giving to each other is wired in our evolutionary brains. Do not fight the urge, or try to convince yourself that it’s a weakness. Some of the most impoverished people, such as Mother Teresa and Mahatma Gandhi, had more influence than government bureaucrats. They give and expect nothing in return. True gratitude.

Don’t Hope to be Grateful

At this point you’re probably beating yourself up because you don’t feel like you have gratitude naturally. This is normal though, since society teaches and rewards selfish behaviors and stances. Society teaches you that you are entitle to everything, regardless of what you give. When you constantly searching for what you can get out of things, rather than give, then you will live in scarcity. ‘Getting’ has a limit, but ‘giving’ does not.

To alter your state, you must reprogram your mind. Make a daily practice of stepping into the moments when you were most grateful. Feel yourself in those moments, and let yourself go. The mornings are the best time to do this. Do this every day for week, and you will see huge changes in yourself. When I started this practice, it only took a few days until I became much happier, and began looking for more opportunities where I could give. Gratitude is life changing.

You can achieve whatever you can believe and think to be true. This is the cliché understanding of achieving anything that you set your mind to, but what’s the catch? Here’s the secret:

To make anything seem possible, tell yourself that you CAN do it, rather than MUST do it.

Must You?

“Must I take out the trash? Must I give up cake to be skinny? Must I wake up early to go to work? Must I finish my assignment? So much work!”

We tend to overburden ourselves mentally, but we mistake it for physically. When we tell ourselves that we must do something, we will find every reason not to do it. As humans, this is how our reasoning works. If we do not want to believe in something, we ask ourselves if we must believe it. We then find only one reason, which in this case is all we need, to not do the thing we thought of setting out to do.

Can You?

“Can you do something for me?” is exponentially more effective than “You must do something for me.” Whether we are asking people to do something for us, or persuading ourselves, we should always use ‘can’ over ‘must.’ This allows for much broader scope of thinking. Our ego will say “Of course I can”, and our reasoning will search ways to do it. Emotions go before reasoning, and this word-play tests that theory. We are emotionally drawn to capability to do something, rather than absolutely having to do something; can versus must.

How to talk to yourself

When faced with a seemingly overwhelming obstacle, tell yourself that you CAN do it and you WILL do it. Write it in a journal, whisper it to yourself, or do whatever it takes to get the point across to yourself. In the beginning, you will subconsciously think up some reasons why you shouldn’t do it, leading you to talk yourself out of it. Remind yourself that you can and will do it, placing your natural inclination aside. This is where mind can prevail over body. Our reasoning can influence our initial emotional inclinations, and using ‘can’ over ‘must’ is a sure way to do this.

Morality

Morality is driven by emotion. If you ever find yourself in a political or religious debate, you will find this out the hard way. But what exactly is morality? All humans have a sense of morality, with the exception of psychopaths. Morality is emotional intuition/moral emotion that drives our thinking/moral reasoning. Moral reasoning is a servant to moral emotions. If you are thinking something, the thought is probably a justification for why you are feeling some way.

Our justification is not based on how we came to our exact emotional judgment, but rather an explanation that drives the most people to agree with us; therefore, humans are socially interactive creatures. We have the capacity to relate to each other with language and reason to justify our emotional judgements. Thus, morals are well-developed emotional urges, which humans seek to justify with social feedback and lingual reasoning.

Personality

Personality is a preference that we are born with. As we grow, our personalities become more evident. Do you…
– draw your energy from being alone or with people?
– easily grasp imaginative concepts or micro sensual details?
– derive your happiness from making others happy or are you more focused on general outcomes?
– like having plans and order, or do you just go with the flow?
All these questions, based off Jung and Myers-Briggs psychology, will determine your personality. Personality is the arrangement of gears in a clock, which make the clock tick; we are the clock, and personality is what makes us tick.

The Difference

Most people tend to confuse morality with personality, but personality is innate and morals are developed. Our morals establish consistency and interconnectivity within society, but personality influences the justification for a moral.

Personality is the influencer of our decisions in the constraints of morality.

Morals can change if a social group or society wills it. Personality cannot change, but it can be developed. With both personality and morality at play, one can truly realize the uniqueness within each person.

Paradox

For every fact about ourselves, there is also a contrary fact. The fact that is most known is the fact which we most focus on. We may be egotistical, but we are also majorly caring. Our personalities are complex, so one fact cannot distinguish you in a certain area. Using a personal example, I tend to lack empathy in some instances, while other times I connect deeply with people.

My philosophy is that the stronger one fact is about yourself, they stronger the opposing fact might be if you were to show it. Therefore, a major decline in moral might lead to a major incline as time passes, and why a significant good might come after a significant bad. For example, a stock market crash is almost always followed by a substantial rise, or bull market. Once our focus shifts from one side of the equation to the other, then the perspective changes, usually in the same proportion in which the perspective was to begin with.

Double-Edged Sword

The best representation of this concept is a double-edged sword, our minds. One moment we are thinking one thing, and the next we’re thinking the complete opposite. The logic makes sense for both these things to coincide, but how? This is all a matter of where are focus is directed. When young, after a break up we might’ve felt numb, saddened, and disappointed, but deep down we also felt a hint of liberation. The difference is focusing on the past versus the future. We feel a sense of disappointment after a failure, but also a sense of security that we have learned from that failure and won’t commit it again. Past versus future.

Another way to look at it is pessimism versus optimism. A pessimist will describe why something is so terrible, while the optimist will explain why something is so wonderful. Let’s observe strengths and weakness in dichotomy: to be efficient might also cause intolerance, as being energetic and strong-willed might spur impatience and arrogance; they coexist. Accept this fact and work on finding harmony between both side of the double-edged sword. Weld the grey area between the sharp ends; only then can you swing the sword gloriously against your foes. Rather than being in denial of one side, accept them and chose.

Even the successful must take a vacation every so often. A tea pot can only boil so much before it overflows and squeals. To alleviate the issue, the tea pot must be taken off the burner to cool down. We act in the same way. When we are on a true 15 hour a day hustle, we may become lost in translation. A vacation is the way to recuperate, and even develop further.

1 – Turn Off the Switch

During our hustle, our minds are in a constant state of engagement, and have the capacity to burn out at some point. To recharge our thought potential, we must rest our thoughts. Just as a body builder must rest his muscles to grow, an intellectual must also rest his brain. Our brain is a muscle that can only be further developed through proper nutrition of knowledge and rest, which makes sense of this knowledge. The most enlightening realizations are stumbled upon in a time of rest and reflection. If you are going to vacation, go all in and rest 100%.

2 – Build Meaningful Relationships

Vacations may return you to your hometown or social life. In terms of work-life balance, this is complete focus on life. Work should be the last thing on your mind, but connecting with friends and family should be on the top of the list. Work may limit your time and focus on the people you really care about. A vacation releases the obligation of work, and leaves you will only your current relationships. People are the driving force for life as we know it, so to grow closer and build deep bonds with people; learn to enjoy it. Nothing is more relaxing than kicking the feet back and talking with friends about how life is going.

3 – Ground Yourself

Dream big, and reach higher, but not on vacation. Clear your mind of all pressures, and breath in the fresh air around you. Soak in the beauty of your surroundings and be grateful for life. Let your thoughts wander, and birds chirp. The tension of your work responsibilities will release, and leave you in much better shape once you do return to work. As for now, you have no problems; you are on vacation. Let energy accumulate and charge inside you, then return to work with energetic enthusiasm and emotional well-being.

1 – Input and Process

Do not move pass something, move through it. Many people, me included, only take in a stimulus deep enough to produce a reaction. Unprocessed responses may lead to an outcome that causes you some form of depression. We must internalize our experiences and find out what they really mean to us. This is the only way to be truly genuine, and not become trapped in our hell of past decisions. Receive the input, process the input with you mind and heart, and then release a reaction that you are proud of. The decision or response may not be the best, but it was made from your soul, which is all that matters in that moment.

If we were to receive input and bury it, then the buried emotion will find the surface eventually. Unprocessed/buried emotions release in blurts, like an over boiling teapot. If we do not resolve the emotion then and there, then it will find a way to express itself in the future. Hence, an unhappy married couple yelling at each other over small things, such as misplacing the remote. These emotional reactions are not due to the missing remote, but rather an inner turmoil that is finding fruition in any way possible.

2 – Listen to the Silence

When we are depressed, we become extremely absorbed in our thoughts. We become the ultimate cynics, even if we are naturally not known as a cynic. The thoughts eventually lead some people to suicide, and others into self-induced suffering. Depression can seem like agony at times; everything around us seems pointless and futile. There is no logical reason for anything in the world, and hope leaves our understanding. We forget the beauty we once saw in people and in the world. This is depression.

We cannot stop our thoughts at this stage, but what we can do is listen to the silence between them, the silence between our thoughts. Silence is magical. In this silence, our emotions are at a stand-still, and no longer victim to our harassing thoughts. It’s beautiful. Breathe in, look around, and recognize the lack of noise. Do you hear it? Peace.

3 – Love Your Greatest Fear

Your greatest fear is a representation of who you are. Love your fear to love yourself, and understand that it is what makes you truly you. Everyone has a greatest fear, whether it be abandonment, being misunderstood, or not being able to make others happy. Fear is the driving force of our strengths; without fears, we would not have incentive to be strong. Do not become absorbed with fear, but understand that the fear is your core drive.

Depression sucks, but once you realize that it is self-induced by lack of understanding, you will be freed.

 

1 – Be unreasonable.

Your first offer will most likely be contended; to fix this start unreasonably. If you want $100 for selling a product, make the starting price $150. If you want to buy a product that’s listed for $100 then offer $50. The counterpart will feel as if he or she has won something when meeting at a price, and you will walk away with the price you wanted from the very beginning. If you want to borrow $10 from a friend, ask for $20. You will end up with $10, or more. This is called the contrast principle.

2 – Proposition before personality.

Odds are that people are more interested in your offer than in you. Your personality can cloud the importance of your offer. You must be confident that your offer is what the other person needs, and place emotions aside to negotiate. Unless you feel the person will only take your offer because they respect you, then utilize personality, but in most instances you won’t have that type of relationship with most people.

3 – Be clear

If you feel like you are spoon feeding your counterpart, then you are negotiating the right way. People hate to spend energy thinking, so give as much details as possible from the very beginning. Anticipate the questions you think they will ask, and answer them before they ask them. People will appreciate the ease of doing business with you, which translates to more yes’s.

4 – ability to walk away from the negotiation

You can’t win them all, but you don’t have to. Do not have a limiting mindset because there will always be more chances to win the offer you want. Placing all your cards on the table will be the death for you in negotiation. If your counterpart is not budging, do not give in; walk away. When you walk away, then you have the upper hand. Chances are, the immovable will budge out of fear of losing, but don’t count on it.

5 – Be responsive

The one thing everybody hates is a person who takes too long to respond, especially in a negotiation. It either shows them your lack of confidence in what you’re offering, or that you care less about them; both will lower their respect for you and your offer. You will not win if you are not responsive.