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Meditation on Solitude

Person facing a snow path, in solitude
The Voice of other’s Perceptions

The longer you’re in solitude the more you become aware of the anima voice in your head that takes a place of people. It has the perceptions of people, at least the expected perceptions. It was always there, but the more you’re in solitude, the more you see this anima as something separate from yourself. You begin to listen to it less because you are no longer around people, therefore, do not need the constant presence of the ‘voice of perceptions’ to guide you in social relations.

The New Voice Born from Solitude

Once you make the separation from this anima, you will feel lonely, but you will also hear a voice that has been otherwise silent. This new voice might say things that you don’t want to hear, things that you’ve been hiding from yourself, but can longer ignore. It will bring up things that will make you self-critical, and you will feel like it’s constantly judging you. Although this voice makes you ache if you don’t listen to it, it feels like your true voice.

What Voice to Listen To?

Once you listen to this voice, you begin to learn who you are beneath the perceptions of others and you can choose to manifest yourself in any way you like, or rather more accurately, manifest yourself in a way that puts you in favor of this new voice, your real voice, rather than being trapped in the loops of a persona that you project for others. At times, it is comforting to live in a persona that you show to others. You feel as if you are connected to others as if you share a conscious space, somewhat analogous to sharing physical space and being comforted by it. Sharing the warmth of unity. Sharing thoughts. This feeling reminds us that we exist and that we are sane.

Insanity

It is true, if you are in solitude for too long, you can follow a path that leads you to insanity, but some insanity is the precursor to great achievement, creativity, and innovation. If you were to ask humans of an earlier time, they might think the people of today with our current ideas and culture are insane. We’ve all moved in a more insane direction together, pulled and lead by the obsessed and insane geniuses throughout history. Once their genius, art, or achievement becomes undeniable, they are no longer tagged as insane, but rather as commendable. Then, we wish to emulate these people in the hope to accomplish what they have accomplished. So, as it follows, the culture changes, and society moves in a more insane direction. Definitions of insanity change.

Solitude all the Time?

Although solitude can cultivate your true voice and source of creativity and achievement, there are times when you would benefit most by being around people. If you are in solitude for too long (this varies for everyone), you could hit a plateau and need to return to people to test your ideas and present the updated persona you’ve created for yourself that resulted from listening to your true voice gained from solitude. In the process of exiting solitude, you attempt to find your place in your community, and once that is accomplished, if your ambitions are higher you can find your place in the world. This is the process of growth – entering the world, acting in it, and returning to solitude to re-tune yourself, like an instrument, and then return to the world to find your place in it among your community and world.

Conclusion

Solitude is a great strategy to utilize if you ever need to get to the bottom of something, or if you feel you need to put your finger on something, or if you are lost and need to find your inner, true voice.

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Meditation on Death

burnt match

One day…

You’re sitting in a room by yourself. A quiet room. Many of your friends, family from your youth, and people you’ve once looked up to are all passed. You look at your hands, which are weathered with sunspots and a little arthritis. You’re dying, and you know it. You ask yourself, “Here we are, where has the time gone?” You know your time has come and that time has finally caught up to you. You reminisce on all the memories, reliving them in your mind. “This is where my time went.” Only you know everything you’ve been through, and some memories you know will die with you. You wonder, “What was it all for?” as you see the world worrying about current events and the happenings of the day.

It all seems so distant to you, like seeing a world from afar; like you are no longer a part of it. All the noise and worry that surrounds the lives of those around you seems trivial. Once the memories have passed, all you feel is the silence of the present moment, the same silence that was always there, but now you realize your perception of it will soon evaporate. A drop is pulled down by gravity until it collides into a pond, sending ripples outwards, until they slow and widen, then become nothingness yet again. There is no more drop, only the pond. You take your last breath and let it all go.

Reflection

What will make this picture complete for you?
Who do you want around you?
What are the conditions for which you will accept a life well lived?

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How to Find Quality

Magnifying glass laying on top of a multi-colored surface.
Judgment of Quality

For every gain comes a loss or sacrifice. Then you must ask yourself, is this gain worth this loss or sacrifice? This is a judgment of quality. The judgment of quality requires peace of mind, for careful observation of the feeling of quality. This is the feeling you get when you are absorbed and lose track of time.

Quality feeds interest and interest feeds quality. Something is worth pursuing if the potential for this interest-quality cycle exists. If your interest is lowered due to setbacks, that is fine. Take a break or backtrack to hit that cycle again. Since you already discover that the interest exists, focus on the quality, and the interest will reignite. To be in this state all the time is difficult, and one could even say that it is enlightenment. Enlightenment is a life long effort. Focusing on the niches of life that produce this flow-feeling for you is the way you should make efforts to follow.

Excellent Work

The person who identifies with his work does excellent work. Do excellent work, and you are the person who does excellent work. Do subpar work, and you are the person who does subpar work. The person who does excellent work is not only more favorable to himself but also to the world and will get compensated accordingly by whatever means of being compensated. “Excellent work” depends on the work. It could be work that produces the most efficiency or that which engenders the most beauty or a combination of the two. Your work is something you live, a form of expression. If you put yourself in your work, would you not do a better job of it?

The Floating Eye

Those who focus on quality have a depth to them that reflects the depth of the awareness that goes into recognizing it. This awareness is a sort of floating eye. It doesn’t stop or get caught in that which it observes, but brushes pass it like wind. It still feels, but it doesn’t get tangled up in feelings. It doesn’t fight the wind that carries it and reconciles with what it passes. All that it passes is not lost but taken into consideration for something it doesn’t even know yet. As the eye floats and observes, not getting attached to one place, begins to expand its awareness, and make associations. The floating eye’s true objective which isn’t even a thought, but more of an understanding, is quality.

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Imposter Syndrome

Man with mask looking down with smoke in a dark background.

Imposter syndrome is the fear of not living up to your words. Your words can earn you favorable positions, but when they are not met with action, then you are either untrustworthy or an imposter. If you are aware of how to meet the words with action but choose not to, you are untrustworthy. If you are not aware of how to meet the words with action you are an imposter. The imposter can climb his way out of the category by taking on the responsibility afforded by those words and completing the work within the deadline. But with this, you risk your credibility.

Capabilities

Be careful with your words and speak from a place of responsibility and understanding. Your words should not be disconnected from your capabilities. Be honest about your capabilities and your ability to expand those capabilities and your desire to expand those capabilities. Someone who is honest about these will learn most effectively and will be highly valued.

Humble

Imposter syndrome may also be a symptom of humility. Those who are rightly afforded great opportunities, but do not feel worthy, could feel like an imposter. In actuality, this attitude may be the reason, along with there capabilities, they achieved a favorable position in the first place. Someone who is capable but not humble is not as favorable as someone who is humble and capable. Humble should not be confused for weakness. You can be both bold and humble because “bold” falls under the category of “capable”. A true imposter will always be found out one way or another, and the growing capable person will be on the insured path of success.

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How to Create Purpose

Silhouette of hand throwing paper airplane to the sky
When we were kids

When we were kids, we looked at adults as totally different creatures. They can drive cars, build buildings, and do things we couldn’t even imagine. As children, many of us couldn’t wait to be adults. If you were one of those kids who couldn’t wait to grow up, becoming an adult was like becoming your dream.

When we grow into adults, many of us forget to continue to dream. It is through dreaming that we can find purpose. This dreaming comes about through wish for a better future or curiosity about the way things could be. Cultivate your curiosity by letting it flow freely, and acting on it. Take your curiosity seriously, as a mechanism for discovering more about yourself and creating purpose. Life is placed before us so that we can live it, so be cautious not to limit the expression of that life due to outside voices that are not your own or an inner voice that is preventing you from doing anything difficult.

Heat

Purpose is the heat created by pursuing or manifesting a dream or vision. Discipline is the friction that creates this heat. You can’t look forward to anything if you can’t rely on yourself to get there. This is the place to start. Learn how to make yourself reliable.

Maneuver

When you are stuck, don’t forfeit your purpose, but rather look where you haven’t. Remain detached and patient. That is the best way to confront the truth.

It is up to you to maneuver the terrain that life lays for you. Some times you have to take a long way, particularly when the way you anticipated is closed off or when you realize that the destination is not what you thought it would be. The terrain changes and so do you; take both these variables into account and don’t forget to aim and strategize forward, even at the risk of being wrong.

Truth

Be vigilant of the truth of things. You can’t decide on what to do if you refuse to see the position you’re in. Note that the truth usually reveals itself to you in moments of silence.

Remember

Sometimes purpose is closer than we think, and we just have to lower ourselves to see it. There are people who have it much worse than we do who still manage to find meaning and happiness in abundance. No doubt, there is purpose to be found in enhancing your own life, but also in enriching the lives of those around you.

Don’t endow purpose to those things in life that don’t matter. Listen to the voice that wants you to succeed and marry the truth to find what really matters.

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Your Life is a Painting

Paint, paper, and brushes

Know what you want to paint, but focus your mind with the day to day because together each day will make the whole picture. Paint your picture on time. Time is the canvas on which you make your brush strokes. Each stroke seemingly insignificant until you take a step back and view the whole picture. The discipline to make repetitive brush strokes, and the detachment to see how each stroke fits into the entire context of the painting.

What is it you are painting? It is your life’s story. Your legacy. A painting will remain painted even after the painter is long gone. Will your painting be one that is remembered and passed down through time? Will it revolutionize new genres? Will it shatter perceptions and encourage people to think differently? What will your painting be?

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The Highs and Lows of Progress

Sprout emerging from concrete
What does it take to find the passion within yourself?

We are prone to take our higher states for granted and fall back into our lower states. How can we quickly realize this pattern, and learn to appreciate the high states enough to stay in them? I, currently, don’t believe in linear progress. It’s too difficult to discern what’s progress without a hanging reminder of what will happen if you stop. We may think, “I’m at a vantage point, high enough to relax or stop,” but if we live in that mindset too long, we run the risk of having to regain that which already had, which takes more patience than the initial achievement.

The plus is that we know we’re capable of what we’ve already achieved, but, who wants to spend the rest of their life doing only what they know they are capable of. Wouldn’t we prefer to surprise ourselves and exceed our expectations? This gives us more fuel to continue. But, we cannot forget who we were or where we came from. We must, also, not deny who we are or what we’ve done. Somehow we have to translate our past into our current lives in a positive, constructive way while mitigating the negative aspects we’ve worked so hard to overcome.

We are all human and bound to make mistakes, and that is a relief. Being perfect is boring. What determines our long-term character is the ability to transcend our lower moments and re-emerge stronger and more wise. Strive to be a person that you would admire by living up to your standard.

Questions

Do you feel stuck doing the same thing over and over every day, secretly hoping you can escape but feel you don’t have the choice? What can you do tomorrow that will change that? What are you repeating that could be done differently, stopped altogether, or changed to something more fulfilling? Do you feel like you’re making progress? If you don’t then what would you define as progress? Do that. Find a way to do it, and fulfill your obligations. I guarantee that there is a way that you are not seeing. Perhaps if you viewed things differently.

Opportunities lay right in front of you, and all you have to do is discern them. Think different. Mix things up. Cause a ripple in the pond. If moving your current direction isn’t working, then try 90 degrees in another direction. Find the path that feels right. How is what you are doing contributing to the larger plan? How can you learn and grow from the people around you? What is it you aren’t seeing? Open your eyes and look around and the answers will eventually become clear.

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Thoughts of a Creative Mind

abstract mural with blue primary, red, yellow, and orange

A creative mind is one that is a self-observer rather than a self-reflector. It doesn’t judge the passing thoughts but watches them and entertains them, in their chain of free associations. Keep in mind that you have memory, so the chain of associations will be available for interpretation later. And, if you can’t remember that’s okay too. One method is to write down what comes to mind, and follow it where it takes you. Observe the path of thought before reflecting on the associations in a larger contextual chain, just as a painter brushstrokes one movement at a time before taking a step back to make sense of the painting. The story as a whole is more telling than a singular thought.

This is the creative process; the tying together of a tapestry, coherency in a narrative, the flowing colors and patterns of a canvas, and an obvious melody of all the great songs. Observe as your unconscious communicates something that you didn’t know that you were struggling with. An artist is seeking therapy, understanding, and/or resonance of the soul to the physical world, and shares the deep intricate parts of themselves and the nature of reality through their work. Don’t regret and discontinue thoughts too soon before they lead you somewhere.

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Relationship with Past and Future

There are two extremes that people embody when it comes to the dimension of time…

First

First, they may choose to live in the past, to recapture moments and memories that provided them comfort such as that of their youth or when times were good and pleasurable. They may even embody a counter-intuitive approach of recreating past negative experiences unconsciously. They live in a loop, a cycle, such that it has stages of development before returning full circle to repeat. Patterns rule our life, and it’s our job to recognize those patterns, and whether they are good for us. If not, change course, just as a captain does on a ship when finding he is pointed in the wrong direction.

Those who only subscribe to the past may also be fearful of the future. They want to live in certainty and in comfort, and are repelled by the treacheries of reality. Perhaps they were hurt and are choosing to callus themselves from further pain, or perhaps they feel inept in handling what’s to come, haunted by a feeling of inferiority. They are uncertain about the future and that fears them, so they choose not to think about it and only live for the past.

Second

The second extreme is the person who only lives for the future. They deny who they were and are in order to become who they want to be. This sounds motivational, but on the contrary it can present problems in the future. We cannot drop who we are immediately on command and become someone new, even though some may outwardly appear to do so, or deny the course of events that led us to where we are and who we have become. If you do so, this past self that you denied will come back to haunt you, and reveal itself in self-destructive ways, ultimately leading to unhappiness for yourself and those around you.

The proper course of action is to integrate who we are with who we can be. Just as a ship can’t turn 180 degrees on a dime, we can’t instantly change who we are. We must learn to reflect on and accept the experiences that led us to who we are, and consciously choose to integrate better decisions to steer ourselves where we want to be. Don’t live in disillusionment; choose to accept who you are wholly, but always strive to be better.

Middle Ground

The person who we want to be is one who lives on the cusp of endings and beginnings, deaths and births, integrations and future projections. This is the nature of transitions. We are in an infinitely iterated game of transitions as every moment passes, every word you read, and breath you take. Change includes the death of old ways of thinking and acceptance of new ones, death of old cells and genesis of new, more vital ones. Death of an old way of thinking doesn’t mean denial of the fact that you ever thought that way, but rather it’s a seamless transition and acceptance, which is a form of integration.

Relationship with Past and Future

Live like a wave on the ocean, rolling with the water. Seamless transition. Integration of the past to build a better future. Acceptance of the past, enthusiasm for the future, and continual betterment. 

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Ode to the Universe

universe and solar system

Everything is in a cycle of life, death, and evolution.

We are caught in that cycle. It happens perpetually from the scale of a nanosecond, all the way up to that of a light year.

Constant life, death, and evolution. Redefinition. The arrow of time moves forward; the cycle wrapping around it.

Everything begins and ends at once, continuously at any moment in time. We are on the cusp of the universe.

The past linking to the present; the present determining the future. The only real power is in the present; the present determines what will be the past and the future.

The present is the point in time of control; control of where the cycles are trending. The present is the singularity of the universe’s beginnings and ends, and we are endowed with the power to control the present.

We are on the edge of the universe, and the writers of what’s possible; the writers of our own story. It’s a privilege to be alive at this moment in time and to be human.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
-Mother Theresa